Have you ever had someone believe in you so much that you started believing in yourself?  I do have someone that believes in me, someone that drives me forward, someone that continually tells me to keep going...move ahead.  I know that it is normal to be critical of ourselves, but is it normal to have self-doubt?  A doubt so strong that it is almost immobilizing?  I don't know if that is normal or not...but for me, I did not like the way it felt and I wanted to do something about it. 

I have been taking pictures ever since I had my Fisher-Price camera; remember the toy camera from the 70's that had a flash on top that turned each time you pressed the bright yellow shutter button?  It really didn't actually take pictures, but it made me feel like a top photographer...snapping away at my baby dolls or at my Barbie dolls in their fashion show.  In elementary school, I had a camera that took 110 film, I remember you could add a flash cube to the top and a side of the flash would burn out after each use.  As a teen, I had a 35mm film camera...I thought I was BIG TIME.  I actually had to wheel the film to feed to the other side.  I moved on to other film cameras and finally in the late 90's, bought my very first digital camera. I never thought I would say this...but, I really did love the switch from film to digital photography.  We all love instant gratification, now, we can see the images before we actually print the pictures. {Sometimes, I do miss the whole dropping off your film at the camera shop, waiting, waiting, waiting, picking up, getting in the car and going through all the images before I would leave the parking lot.}  

While taking all these pictures and hanging my final art work on my walls, friends and family would always say...."Wow, you're really good.  You should be a photographer."  or "Can you take pictures of my kids, your pictures are great."  I never really thought of myself as a photographer, photographer...just someone that took pictures.  I didn't have the faith or belief in myself to really make a career out of photography.  I was always judging my work or comparing it to someone else's.  It took a lot of years to realize that I am my own artist, I have my own style. It is good to admire other's art work, but not to compare or judge your art against theirs.  If people like your style, like your art...like you, then they will hire you.

Fast forward to today... I still hold on to the fear that maybe my work isn't good enough.  I continue to shoot, continue to learn, continue to explore and grow.  And you know what?  I am loving every minute of it.  The other day, my husband came up to me and told me how proud he was of me. How happy he was that I am turning a passion into a career.  I thanked him, but when he turned and walked away, I started sobbing.  He believes in me so much, he knows that I love doing this, he wants to see me succeed, he wants me to move forward, and to grow my business.  I am finally starting to see what he has seen all along, I am finally starting to believe in myself...and I have to tell you, the feeling is incredible.  

Until next time.

xoxo

Wendy 

Thanks to Mary Oyervides for the photo of me.  This was taken when we were doing a nature shoot.  What a fun evening!